My Beautiful Daughter, My Shining Miracle!

My Beautiful Daughter, My Shining Miracle!
Ab's and I

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Thoughts about Easter....

I have gotten asked alot lately, does it get easier?  I have several thoughts about that and my answer is no, it get's different, but not easier, because when it comes right down to it, if I sit and really, really, focus on you in my arms the pain literally brings me right down to my knees.  However, I try my best to enjoy the life I have here, because I know you are in a wonderful place and where there is nothing but joy, happiness and all the Easter eggs you want, but that's just it....tonight sitting dying Easter eggs with Abby there are moments of extreme joy and moments of sadness. 

I should be watching you and Abby sitting side by side dying Easter eggs together, not dying an egg In Memory of You....
 
I should be setting up your Easter basket tonight with blue Easter grass not setting out a bowl that I made for you, In Memory of....

I should be lying your Easter clothes out next to Ab's for tomorrows festivities....not looking at your picture and wishing you a Happy Easter....

I should be watching you and Ab's coming out from your bedroom doors hand in hand running to the kitchen excited to see what the Easter Bunny has brought you both....

I should be sitting in church with the both of you with each of you by your daddy's and my side, instead of seeing a 2 year old boy right in front of me saying hi, all the while holding back the tears in my eyes...

I should be helping you with the Easter egg hunt at my Aunts and your sister I know would be helping you too....instead I wonder if anyone will mention you tomorrow?....

We should all be snuggling on the sofa tomorrow night ending the day with an Easter movie, instead of letting a Sky Lantern go In Memory of You.....

So to answer all of you who ask, does it get easier? No, does it get different yes....Would I change anything, yes for you to be here with us...but I would never change not having you in my life no matter how short the time, because you have taught me so much....

I feel I am a better wife, mother, friend, writer, and advocate and for that Avery I thank you.
I miss you...
I love you...
Happy Easter Little Man, Happy Easter!

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